The Buddha describes the five qualities who visits families is unlikable and disagreeable—they act as though they’re close to people they hardly know. they give away things they don’t own. they over-associate with close friends. they whisper in the ear. and they ask for too much, a mendicant with these five qualities who visits families is unlikable and disagreeable, not respected or admired, a mendicant with five qualities who visits families is dear and beloved, respected and admired, and what five?, and they don’t act as though they’re close to people they hardly know. they don’t give away things they don’t own. they don’t over-associate with close friends. they don’t whisper in the ear. and they don’t ask for too much.

AN 5.111 Visiting Families

“Pañcahi, bhikkhave, dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu appiyo ca hoti amanāpo ca agaru ca abhāvanīyo ca. Katamehi pañcahi? Asanthavavissāsī ca hoti, anissaravikappī ca, vissaṭṭhupasevī ca, upakaṇṇakajappī ca, atiyācanako ca. Imehi kho, bhikkhave, pañcahi dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu appiyo ca hoti amanāpo ca agaru ca abhāvanīyo ca.

Pañcahi, bhikkhave, dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu piyo ca hoti manāpo ca garu ca bhāvanīyo ca. Katamehi pañcahi? Na asanthavavissāsī ca hoti, na anissaravikappī ca, na vissaṭṭhupasevī ca, na upakaṇṇakajappī ca, na atiyācanako ca. Imehi kho, bhikkhave, pañcahi dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu piyo ca hoti manāpo ca garu ca bhāvanīyo cā”ti.

Paṭhamaṁ.

Reference Translation by Bhikkhu Sujato (CC0).

“Pañcahi, bhikkhave, dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu appiyo ca hoti amanāpo ca agaru ca abhāvanīyo ca.

“Mendicants, a mendicant with five qualities who visits families is unlikable and disagreeable, not respected or admired.

Katamehi pañcahi?

What five?

Asanthavavissāsī ca hoti, anissaravikappī ca, vissaṭṭhupasevī ca, upakaṇṇakajappī ca, atiyācanako ca.

They act as though they’re close to people they hardly know. They give away things they don’t own. They over-associate with close friends. They whisper in the ear. And they ask for too much.

Imehi kho, bhikkhave, pañcahi dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu appiyo ca hoti amanāpo ca agaru ca abhāvanīyo ca.

A mendicant with these five qualities who visits families is unlikable and disagreeable, not respected or admired.

Pañcahi, bhikkhave, dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu piyo ca hoti manāpo ca garu ca bhāvanīyo ca.

A mendicant with five qualities who visits families is dear and beloved, respected and admired.

Katamehi pañcahi?

What five?

Na asanthavavissāsī ca hoti, na anissaravikappī ca, na vissaṭṭhupasevī ca, na upakaṇṇakajappī ca, na atiyācanako ca.

They don’t act as though they’re close to people they hardly know. They don’t give away things they don’t own. They don’t over-associate with close friends. They don’t whisper in the ear. And they don’t ask for too much.

Imehi kho, bhikkhave, pañcahi dhammehi samannāgato kulūpako bhikkhu kulesu piyo ca hoti manāpo ca garu ca bhāvanīyo cā”ti.

A mendicant with these five qualities who visits families is dear and beloved, respected and admired.”

Paṭhamaṁ.

Qualities:

Dearness

Dearness

A mental quality of holding something or someone as 'dear' through attachment, which binds the mind with craving and possessiveness. It is the external fixation upon what the mind clings to, often giving rise to envy, quarrels, and sorrow.

Also known as: beloved, cherished, pleasing
Pāli: piya
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Wisdom

Wisdom

Lived understanding and sound judgment that steers the mind away from suffering, distinct from mere accumulation of facts.

Also known as: (of a person) wise, astute, intelligent, learned, skilled, firm, stable, steadfast, an experiential understanding of the four noble truths
Pāli: paññā, medhā, dhīra, paṇḍita, asammūḷha
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Last updated on July 27, 2026