The Buddha teaches headmen and householders on families, guiding lay followers toward ethical conduct, generosity, and confidence in the Dhamma.

SN 42.9 Families

Ekaṁ samayaṁ bhagavā kosalesu cārikaṁ caramāno mahatā bhikkhusaṅghena saddhiṁ yena nāḷandā tadavasari. Tatra sudaṁ bhagavā nāḷandāyaṁ viharati pāvārikambavane.

Tena kho pana samayena nāḷandā dubbhikkhā hoti dvīhitikā setaṭṭhikā salākāvuttā. Tena kho pana samayena nigaṇṭho nāṭaputto nāḷandāyaṁ paṭivasati mahatiyā nigaṇṭhaparisāya saddhiṁ. Atha kho asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi nigaṇṭhasāvako yena nigaṇṭho nāṭaputto tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā nigaṇṭhaṁ nāṭaputtaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdi. Ekamantaṁ nisinnaṁ kho asibandhakaputtaṁ gāmaṇiṁ nigaṇṭho nāṭaputto etadavoca:

“ehi tvaṁ, gāmaṇi, samaṇassa gotamassa vādaṁ āropehi. Evaṁ te kalyāṇo kittisaddo abbhuggacchissati: ‘asibandhakaputtena gāmaṇinā samaṇassa gotamassa evaṁmahiddhikassa evaṁmahānubhāvassa vādo āropito’”ti.

“Kathaṁ panāhaṁ, bhante, samaṇassa gotamassa evaṁmahiddhikassa evaṁmahānubhāvassa vādaṁ āropessāmī”ti?

“Ehi tvaṁ, gāmaṇi, yena samaṇo gotamo tenupasaṅkama; upasaṅkamitvā samaṇaṁ gotamaṁ evaṁ vadehi: ‘nanu, bhante, bhagavā anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī’ti? Sace kho, gāmaṇi, samaṇo gotamo evaṁ puṭṭho evaṁ byākaroti: ‘evaṁ, gāmaṇi, tathāgato anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī’ti, tamenaṁ tvaṁ evaṁ vadeyyāsi: ‘atha kiñcarahi, bhante, bhagavā dubbhikkhe dvīhitike setaṭṭhike salākāvutte mahatā bhikkhusaṅghena saddhiṁ cārikaṁ carati? Ucchedāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, anayāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, upaghātāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno’ti. Imaṁ kho te, gāmaṇi, samaṇo gotamo ubhatokoṭikaṁ pañhaṁ puṭṭho neva sakkhati uggilituṁ, neva sakkhati ogilitun”ti.

“Evaṁ, bhante”ti kho asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi nigaṇṭhassa nāṭaputtassa paṭissutvā uṭṭhāyāsanā nigaṇṭhaṁ nāṭaputtaṁ abhivādetvā padakkhiṇaṁ katvā yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdi. Ekamantaṁ nisinno kho asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi bhagavantaṁ etadavoca:

“Nanu, bhante, bhagavā anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī”ti?

“Evaṁ, gāmaṇi, tathāgato anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī”ti.

“Atha kiñcarahi, bhante, bhagavā dubbhikkhe dvīhitike setaṭṭhike salākāvutte mahatā bhikkhusaṅghena saddhiṁ cārikaṁ carati? Ucchedāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, anayāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, upaghātāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno”ti.

“Ito so, gāmaṇi, ekanavutikappe yamahaṁ anussarāmi, nābhijānāmi kiñci kulaṁ pakkabhikkhānuppadānamattena upahatapubbaṁ. Atha kho yāni tāni kulāni aḍḍhāni mahaddhanāni mahābhogāni pahūtajātarūparajatāni pahūtavittūpakaraṇāni pahūtadhanadhaññāni, sabbāni tāni dānasambhūtāni ceva saccasambhūtāni ca sāmaññasambhūtāni ca.

Aṭṭha kho, gāmaṇi, hetū, aṭṭha paccayā kulānaṁ upaghātāya. Rājato kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, corato kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, aggito kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, udakato kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, nihitaṁ ṭhānā vigacchati, duppayuttā kammantā vipajjanti, kule kulaṅgāroti uppajjati, yo te bhoge vikirati vidhamati viddhaṁseti, aniccatāyeva aṭṭhamīti. Ime kho, gāmaṇi, aṭṭha hetū, aṭṭha paccayā kulānaṁ upaghātāya.

Imesu kho, gāmaṇi, aṭṭhasu hetūsu, aṭṭhasu paccayesu saṁvijjamānesu yo maṁ evaṁ vadeyya: ‘ucchedāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, anayāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, upaghātāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno’ti, taṁ, gāmaṇi, vācaṁ appahāya taṁ cittaṁ appahāya taṁ diṭṭhiṁ appaṭinissajjitvā yathābhataṁ nikkhitto evaṁ niraye”ti.

Evaṁ vutte, asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi bhagavantaṁ etadavoca: “abhikkantaṁ, bhante, abhikkantaṁ, bhante …pe… upāsakaṁ maṁ bhagavā dhāretu ajjatagge pāṇupetaṁ saraṇaṁ gatan”ti.

Navamaṁ.

Reference Translation by Bhikkhu Sujato (CC0).

Ekaṁ samayaṁ bhagavā kosalesu cārikaṁ caramāno mahatā bhikkhusaṅghena saddhiṁ yena nāḷandā tadavasari.

At one time the Buddha was wandering in the land of the Kosalans together with a large Saṅgha of mendicants when he arrived at Nāḷandā.

Tatra sudaṁ bhagavā nāḷandāyaṁ viharati pāvārikambavane.

There he stayed near Nāḷandā in Pāvārika’s mango grove.

Tena kho pana samayena nāḷandā dubbhikkhā hoti dvīhitikā setaṭṭhikā salākāvuttā.

Now at that time Nāḷandā was undergoing famine and scarcity, with crops blighted and turned to straw.

Tena kho pana samayena nigaṇṭho nāṭaputto nāḷandāyaṁ paṭivasati mahatiyā nigaṇṭhaparisāya saddhiṁ.

At that time the Jain ascetic of the Ñātika clan was residing at Nāḷandā together with a large assembly of Jain ascetics.

Atha kho asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi nigaṇṭhasāvako yena nigaṇṭho nāṭaputto tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā nigaṇṭhaṁ nāṭaputtaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdi. Ekamantaṁ nisinnaṁ kho asibandhakaputtaṁ gāmaṇiṁ nigaṇṭho nāṭaputto etadavoca:

Then Asibandhaka’s son the chief, who was a disciple of the Jains, went up to the Jain Ñātika, bowed, and sat down to one side. The Jain Ñātika said to him:

“ehi tvaṁ, gāmaṇi, samaṇassa gotamassa vādaṁ āropehi.

“Come, chief, refute the ascetic Gotama’s doctrine.

Evaṁ te kalyāṇo kittisaddo abbhuggacchissati:

Then you will get a good reputation:

‘asibandhakaputtena gāmaṇinā samaṇassa gotamassa evaṁmahiddhikassa evaṁmahānubhāvassa vādo āropito’”ti.

‘Asibandhaka’s son the chief refuted the doctrine of the ascetic Gotama, so mighty and powerful!’”

“Kathaṁ panāhaṁ, bhante, samaṇassa gotamassa evaṁmahiddhikassa evaṁmahānubhāvassa vādaṁ āropessāmī”ti?

“But sir, how am I to do this?”

“Ehi tvaṁ, gāmaṇi, yena samaṇo gotamo tenupasaṅkama; upasaṅkamitvā samaṇaṁ gotamaṁ evaṁ vadehi:

“Here, brahmin, go to the ascetic Gotama and say to him:

‘nanu, bhante, bhagavā anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī’ti?

‘Sir, don’t you in many ways praise kindness, protection, and sympathy for families?’

Sace kho, gāmaṇi, samaṇo gotamo evaṁ puṭṭho evaṁ byākaroti:

When he’s asked this, if he answers:

‘evaṁ, gāmaṇi, tathāgato anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī’ti, tamenaṁ tvaṁ evaṁ vadeyyāsi:

‘Indeed I do, chief,’ say this to him:

‘atha kiñcarahi, bhante, bhagavā dubbhikkhe dvīhitike setaṭṭhike salākāvutte mahatā bhikkhusaṅghena saddhiṁ cārikaṁ carati?

‘So what then are you doing, wandering together with this large Saṅgha of mendicants during a time of famine and scarcity, with crops blighted and turned to straw?

Ucchedāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, anayāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, upaghātāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno’ti.

The Buddha is practicing to annihilate, collapse, and ruin families!’

Imaṁ kho te, gāmaṇi, samaṇo gotamo ubhatokoṭikaṁ pañhaṁ puṭṭho neva sakkhati uggilituṁ, neva sakkhati ogilitun”ti.

When you put this dilemma to him, the Buddha won’t be able to either spit it out or swallow it down.”

“Evaṁ, bhante”ti kho asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi nigaṇṭhassa nāṭaputtassa paṭissutvā uṭṭhāyāsanā nigaṇṭhaṁ nāṭaputtaṁ abhivādetvā padakkhiṇaṁ katvā yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdi. Ekamantaṁ nisinno kho asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi bhagavantaṁ etadavoca:

“Yes, sir,” replied Asibandhaka’s son. He rose from his seat, bowed, and respectfully circled the Jain Ñātika, keeping him on his right. Then he went to the Buddha, bowed, sat down to one side, and said to him:

“Nanu, bhante, bhagavā anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī”ti?

“Sir, don’t you in many ways praise kindness, protection, and sympathy for families?”

“Evaṁ, gāmaṇi, tathāgato anekapariyāyena kulānaṁ anuddayaṁ vaṇṇeti, anurakkhaṁ vaṇṇeti, anukampaṁ vaṇṇetī”ti.

“Indeed I do, chief.”

“Atha kiñcarahi, bhante, bhagavā dubbhikkhe dvīhitike setaṭṭhike salākāvutte mahatā bhikkhusaṅghena saddhiṁ cārikaṁ carati?

“So what then are you doing, wandering together with this large Saṅgha of mendicants during a time of famine and scarcity, with crops blighted and turned to straw?

Ucchedāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, anayāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, upaghātāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno”ti.

The Buddha is practicing to annihilate, collapse, and ruin families!”

“Ito so, gāmaṇi, ekanavutikappe yamahaṁ anussarāmi, nābhijānāmi kiñci kulaṁ pakkabhikkhānuppadānamattena upahatapubbaṁ.

“Well, chief, I recollect ninety-one eons back but I’m not aware of any family that’s been ruined merely by offering some cooked almsfood.

Atha kho yāni tāni kulāni aḍḍhāni mahaddhanāni mahābhogāni pahūtajātarūparajatāni pahūtavittūpakaraṇāni pahūtadhanadhaññāni, sabbāni tāni dānasambhūtāni ceva saccasambhūtāni ca sāmaññasambhūtāni ca.

Rather, rich, affluent, and wealthy families—with lots of gold and silver, lots of property and assets, and lots of money and grain—all acquired their wealth because of giving, truth, and restraint.

Aṭṭha kho, gāmaṇi, hetū, aṭṭha paccayā kulānaṁ upaghātāya.

Chief, there are eight causes and reasons for the ruin of families.

Rājato kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, corato kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, aggito kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, udakato kulāni upaghātaṁ gacchanti, nihitaṁ ṭhānā vigacchati, duppayuttā kammantā vipajjanti, kule kulaṅgāroti uppajjati, yo te bhoge vikirati vidhamati viddhaṁseti, aniccatāyeva aṭṭhamīti.

Their ruin stems from rulers, bandits, fire, or flood. Or they lose their savings. Or their business fails due to not applying themselves to work. Or a wastrel is born into the family who squanders and fritters away their wealth. And impermanence is the eighth.

Ime kho, gāmaṇi, aṭṭha hetū, aṭṭha paccayā kulānaṁ upaghātāya.

These are the eight causes and reasons for the ruin of families.

Imesu kho, gāmaṇi, aṭṭhasu hetūsu, aṭṭhasu paccayesu saṁvijjamānesu yo maṁ evaṁ vadeyya:

Given that these eight reasons are found, suppose someone says this:

‘ucchedāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, anayāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno, upaghātāya bhagavā kulānaṁ paṭipanno’ti,

‘The Buddha is practicing to annihilate, collapse, and ruin families!’

taṁ, gāmaṇi, vācaṁ appahāya taṁ cittaṁ appahāya taṁ diṭṭhiṁ appaṭinissajjitvā yathābhataṁ nikkhitto evaṁ niraye”ti.

Unless they give up that speech and that thought, and let go of that view, they will be placed in hell as if delivered there.”

Evaṁ vutte, asibandhakaputto gāmaṇi bhagavantaṁ etadavoca:

When he said this, Asibandhaka’s son the chief said to the Buddha,

“abhikkantaṁ, bhante, abhikkantaṁ, bhante …pe…

“Excellent, sir! Excellent! …

upāsakaṁ maṁ bhagavā dhāretu ajjatagge pāṇupetaṁ saraṇaṁ gatan”ti.

From this day forth, may the Buddha remember me as a lay follower who has gone for refuge for life.”

Navamaṁ.

Topics & Qualities:

Compassion

Compassion

A mental quality of wise empathy in response to suffering, which counters qualities of harm or cruelty.

Also known as: benevolence, concern, sympathy, kindness towards those who are suffering
Pāli: karuṇā, anukampa
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Giving

Giving

The act of generosity, sharing, or offering to others without expecting anything in return. Giving is considered a foundational virtue in Buddhist practice, fostering selflessness and compassion.

Also known as: generosity, charity, donation, almsgiving, donating, philanthropy, providing with, gift with
Pāli: dāna
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Loving Kindness

Loving Kindness

The practice of developing boundless love and goodwill toward all beings, starting with oneself and extending outward.

Also known as: metta practice, unconditional love, goodwill meditation, goodwill, benevolence, kindness, friendliness
Pāli: mettā, metta, abyāpāda, abyāpajja
View all discourses →
Truth

Truth

The quality of what is real and dependable; speech and conduct aligned with reality, honesty, and integrity.

Also known as: accuracy, reliability, verifiability
Pāli: sacca
View all discourses →
Wholesome

Wholesome

Conducive to or suggestive of good health and mental well-being.

Also known as: blameless, skillful, beneficial, good, useful, healthy, nourishing, sustaining
Pāli: kusala
View all discourses →
Wrong view

Wrong view

A distorted understanding that sees permanence in the impermanent, satisfaction in the unsatisfactory, or self in the not-self. Wrong view guides action by delusion, obscuring cause and effect, and closes the door to wisdom and release.

Also known as: distorted or inverted perception, untrue view, false belief
Pāli: micchādiṭṭhi
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Last updated on July 27, 2026