The Buddha teaches nine ways to get rid of resentment toward someone who has done wrong, from developing love to resolving to set that person free in the heart.

AN 9.30 Getting Rid of Resentment

“Navayime, bhikkhave, āghātapaṭivinayā. Katame nava? ‘Anatthaṁ me acari, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti; ‘anatthaṁ me carati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti; ‘anatthaṁ me carissati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti; piyassa me manāpassa anatthaṁ acari …pe… anatthaṁ carati …pe… ‘anatthaṁ carissati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti; appiyassa me amanāpassa atthaṁ acari …pe… atthaṁ carati …pe… ‘atthaṁ carissati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti. Ime kho, bhikkhave, nava āghātapaṭivinayā”ti.

Dasamaṁ.

Reference Translation by Bhikkhu Sujato (CC0).

“Navayime, bhikkhave, āghātapaṭivinayā.

“Mendicants, there are these nine ways to get rid of resentment.

Katame nava?

What nine?

‘Anatthaṁ me acari, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti;

Thinking: ‘They harmed me, but what can I possibly do?’ you get rid of resentment.

‘anatthaṁ me carati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti;

Thinking: ‘They are harming me …’ …

‘anatthaṁ me carissati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti;

‘They will harm me …’ …

piyassa me manāpassa anatthaṁ acari …pe…

‘They harmed someone I love …’ …

anatthaṁ carati …pe…

‘They are harming someone I love …’

‘anatthaṁ carissati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti;

‘They will harm someone I love …’ …

appiyassa me amanāpassa atthaṁ acari …pe…

‘They helped someone I dislike …’ …

atthaṁ carati …pe…

‘They are helping someone I dislike …’ …

‘atthaṁ carissati, taṁ kutettha labbhā’ti āghātaṁ paṭivineti.

Thinking: ‘They will help someone I dislike, but what can I possibly do?’ you get rid of resentment.

Ime kho, bhikkhave, nava āghātapaṭivinayā”ti.

These are the nine ways to get rid of resentment.”

Dasamaṁ.

Qualities:

Affection

Affection

A mental quality of tender affection and fond regard, often wholesome when rooted in kindness, which inclines the mind toward warmth and care. When unguarded, it may turn toward fixation upon what is 'dear,' leading the mind to attachment and the grief that follows separation from what has been clung to as 'dear'.

Also known as: fondness, love, tender regard
Pāli: pema
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Harm

Harm

Intention or action that causes injury or suffering to oneself or others. It arises from aversion and heedlessness and destroys trust and safety. The opposite of non-harm, it obscures compassion and leads to regret.

Also known as: injury causing behavior, destructiveness, bad, evil
Pāli: pāpaka
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Resentment

Resentment

Holding a grudge and keeping anger alive in memory. Unlike a sudden flash of anger, resentment ties a knot of hostility, holding onto past grievances and refusing to forgive.

Also known as: bearing a grudge, harboring enmity
Pāli: upanāha
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Last updated on July 27, 2026